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How to choose between two girls: what to consider?

So, there was a situation when you like two girls at once. It is possible that you even meet one of them, it is likely that both women love you, or you liked only one of them. It also happens that the pair likes 2 ladies, but he does not like any of them. If two girls like you, then they, respectively, expect from you an important decision about which of them you want to be with. You need to take the situation seriously and choose one, otherwise you will soon lose both.

How to make a choice between women

How to help yourself decide?

For starters, ask yourself if you want something truly serious, or do you need something at ease? Perhaps you just want to have fun from time to time. If you need a permanent girl, or you want to create a serious long-term relationship, you will have to resolve the situation immediately. You need to start thinking with yourself.

Passion can easily obscure the ability to reason sensibly. It’s necessary to take a step back from both girls, this will allow you to understand what you really want. It is possible that for now you need to concentrate on your work and career. It is likely that you need at least minimal stability with the ease that only one girl will give, but not two.

Weigh the pros and cons

The first thing to do is to analyze your relationship with each of the girls. You need to think about what is in common, and try to understand how they are different. Consider what each of the virgins can offer you, and then imagine what feelings each of them causes you. If you really choose, then you need to be fully and 100% aware of your choice.

Weigh the pros and cons

Who is more interesting

Consider which of the girls you have more lively or interesting conversations with. At the same time, keep in mind that the one who is funnier and who inspires attempts to do something new is more important than the one you just want physically. You probably just did not think that with one girl you are better than with the other.

Who is more interesting

The trust

It is also important to think about which of the girls you can trust more. It is possible that with one of the ladies it is easy and fun for you, but at the same time, you cannot imagine yourself in a serious relationship with her. You need to consider what exactly you want - a relationship with maximum stability or a temporary union, but more interesting and exciting. Decide which of the girls you have a deeper and more trusting relationship with in terms of communication. Communication is extremely important for any relationship, because you need to choose the girl with whom you can speak as openly or truthfully as possible.

The trust

Emotions and feelings

You should also pay attention to what feelings of yourself you experience while being with each of the girls. It is likely that one of the fair sex makes you feel stronger, more capable and, accordingly, worthy, and the other way round - it belittles you, making you feel like you are a stranger to yourself. It is possible that one of the ladies, even makes you feel happy or careless, and the other, on the contrary, causes excessive stress. It would be nice not to ignore those changes in your personality that happen during your stay with each of the two girls. This indicates the aspects of your personality that it feeds.

Emotions and feelings

Honesty with oneself

Be honest with yourself. If you can’t get you to finally say “Yes!” To one of them, then it’s quite possible that you shouldn’t have a serious relationship at all. Or, as an option, you do not need any of them. Do not force yourself to enter into a serious relationship, you should understand why it is so hard for you to choose.

Be honest with yourself

Search for an alternative

You can search for alternatives. It may be that none of these women are looking for anything serious. It’s also possible that not one of them is really interested in you. But, this state of affairs does not give you the right to “twist” novels simultaneously with both. Such a situation simply means that circumstances can be not only simple and clear, but also strange than you think. Try talking to the girls. Of course, each individually. Then you might better understand what they are looking for. If the situation is non-standard, there is no need to be afraid of it. There are many ways to choose a more pleasant relationship for you. It is important, however, that all participants understand each other and try not to hurt the feelings of others.

Search for an alternative

The choice between 2 women of your choice is not an easy one. But, if you do not decide, you will soon lose both. It is important to decide what exactly you need and which of the girls corresponds more to this measure.

How to choose one of the women and stay with her

Why is it difficult to make a choice?

If a situation has already developed that in finding a suitable couple for himself, the guy stumbled upon two worthy candidates and does not know which girl to choose, then he will have a hard time. This decision will be quite important and therefore it must be taken carefully. Sometimes it is very difficult to make a choice and it happens just like that for the following reasons:

  • both girls have an attractive appearance,
  • the guy likes both candidates by nature,
  • he is afraid to offend one of the girls,
  • there is a fear that the choice will turn out to be wrong, and returning everything back will be virtually impossible,
  • the guy understands how sensitive the girls are and does not know how to refuse one of them as delicately as possible.

All these points cause a number of certain difficulties, often these difficulties are extremely emotional and it is not so easy to deal with them. But nevertheless, sooner or later it will be necessary to gather strength and make your final choice.

How to choose a girl from one of two?

To choose one of the two girls, the guy will have to follow a number of criteria, spend enough time and effort. But to do this is extremely necessary, because the future of a young man may depend on such a seemingly banal choice.

Deep Scan

To make the right choice between 2 girls will help a deep analysis of the situation. The guy should take a sober look at the situation, evaluate each girl according to the criteria of his perception, and finally determine which option will be most optimal for him. In order to analyze the situation well and make the right choice, the young man himself must pose the following questions:

  • to which of the young ladies does he have great sympathy,
  • which girl suits his taste more
  • will a lady be able to share his interests and will it remain interesting for a guy for a long time,
  • the appearance of which girl seems to the guy more attractive,
  • which of the girls a young man could see next to him not a week or a month, but a longer period of time.

If such an analysis is carried out correctly, it will be much easier to make a choice and choose exactly the option that is needed.


After conducting a detailed analysis of the situation, the young man has to make a decision. He cannot be completely sure that everything will go exactly as he had planned for himself, but he still needs to act. And so, the guy must firmly make a choice, make his final decision and act according to the plan.

Decision Actions

If the guy has already made his decision, then you need to announce it to the girl with whom he must part. He must understand that this process does not promise lightness, but despite this, you need to act according to the following plan:

  • call a girl and make an appointment,
  • before starting the conversation, ask her to listen to the end and soberly assess the situation,
  • explain in detail to the girl the reason for the breakup, adding that it would be better,
  • wish the lady all the best and find a really good young man who suits her.

If a girl starts a tantrum, you should not exchange for emotions, you need to explain once again that it cannot be otherwise. A smart girl will understand everything and over time, she may even just be friends with the guy who left her, she will also be grateful to him for this. In addition, it is important to know how to tell the girl about the breakup so as not to offend her.

Tips to help you choose

The guys who turn out to be the center of the love triangle have a really hard time, but still they can’t get away from the choice. So that it is much easier for young people to determine which lady to part with and which to stay with, they need to follow these tips:

  • listen to your own feelings
  • evaluate which girl has more virtues,
  • choose the one that has more in common,
  • do not forget about the appearance, because it also plays a big role in the emergence of new relationships,
  • not be guided by a sense of duty, pity, or something like that,
  • Compare girls objectively and carefully.

The main thing is to make a decision carefully and slowly, because trying to solve the situation as quickly as possible, the guy runs the risk of making a serious mistake.


Choosing between two girls is not so easy, but it is simply vital. To make the right choice, you need to slowly weigh the pros and cons, while choosing the most optimal option. If you carefully evaluate both candidates, you can choose the one that suits the guy more. The main thing is to learn to evaluate everything objectively and deeply, and not just superficially, because only then you can get the necessary result. Yes, the choice will not be easy, but the main thing is that it turns out to be right and really desired.

Psychologists advice

Psychologists in such situations insist that a period of 1 week is enough to determine who you need most. You will need to weigh the pros and cons, analyze them. The main condition will be that during this week not to see any of the men. Neither calls, nor SMS, nor any other type of communication should be present.

Write thoughts on paper

If the analytical mindset is not your trump card, moreover, it is difficult for you to keep absolutely all the nuances in your head, then a banal sheet of paper will come to the rescue. Divide it into 2 parts and write all the virtues of one and then the second of your man. Repeat the same operation with flaws. Thus, it will be a little easier for you to make the final choice.

Travel with men

Psychologists claim that it is best to get to know a person while traveling with him. So, as an option, you can try to spend a weekend outing with your men, of course, in turn. Such an event should help in making the final choice.

Make an independent decision

However, it is worthwhile to understand that for 100% neither psychologists, nor magicians, nor fortunetellers will help you in this. Each person must decide and make a final decision.

When a woman has such a situation, and she does not know which choice between 2 men is better, you need to think. If there is something in each that forces you to pay attention to the other, then most likely you do not really need one of them.

None of the 2 men will be able to give you absolutely everything that is necessary. Having met truly “your own” person, you will not begin to choose between him and someone else.

So, when everything is not serious with you, provided that you are a risky person, you can continue the relationship in the same spirit, choosing no one at all. The fact is that sooner or later life circumstances themselves will put everything in its place.

Exclude one of the men

Psychologists advise one simple technique - if you can’t do this in real life, then at least mentally you need to exclude one of the men from your life. Try to imagine that it is not in nature, it will not appear in your life. If nothing changes significantly from the absence of a fan, then it is not so important as it seems now.

Council of loved ones

When this method also does not help, you can consult with close people - friends and parents. From the side, at times it may be more visible how one or another man relates to his partner. The fact is that observers judge with impartiality, while emotions prevent the girl in love from seeing the true state of things.

The relationship of men to other people

It is also worth paying attention to how your fans relate to those around them. Alone with you, each of the men will show only their best sides. This is understandable, because it is important for both to win your favor, but with outsiders they don’t need to be extremely cute or sensitive, and be patient.

Much about the person is told by the way he behaves with people who are inferior in social status, for example, with waiters and sellers, or with other service personnel.

Keep in mind that an arrogant man who shows arrogance and disdain for other people will surely break with a woman over time, especially if he considers that she should indulge him in everything.

Choosing one of two men is not an easy task. This will help the advice of psychologists, as well as honesty with yourself. Only by understanding your own inner world, you can understand which of the guys you need more and do you need at all? If no one really takes your heart, it’s best to give up any relationship with them at all.

How to choose one of two guys

The choice of a man for a relationship: I got lost in two pine trees

Hello dear readers of the Samprosvetvetbullet blog!

“Choosing a man for a relationship is a responsible decision. I have two applicants and, as they say, I got lost in two pine trees. I can not decide on anything! And in one there is a lot of good, and in another, but also shortcomings are present. I want to build a happy relationship, but how to understand which of them I need? ”- writes Marina.

“How to make a man’s choice. I met a young man on the Internet. And at the same time a new man came to work for us in a neighboring company and began to look after me. I don’t know how to choose the right man, it seems that both are suitable for me, as if I fell into a stupor, I walk depressed. I got confused in my desires ... ”, Natalya writes.

Choice is an opportunity

There is nobody to choose - it’s bad, there are several candidates, it’s also bad, because you can make a mistake when choosing. Some people are afraid to make a decision because they do not like to take responsibility, hoping that everything will be decided for them by itself.

Choice is an opportunity. What opportunities this choice gives us can be understood if we imagine the consequences of our decision and compare them with what we want in life. Unfortunately, we do not always clearly understand what we want.

Analyze the possible consequences

Remember the Tale “About Tsar Saltan”, familiar to all of us from childhood, where three girls-sisters talked about their dreams at the window in the evening. All three wanted to marry the king, or in the modern interpretation of a strong successful man. But each had their own ideas about what kind of relationship they should have.

Two of them incorrectly determined their priorities in life.As a result, instead of a spouse, one sister got a place in the kitchen, and the other got a job as a weaver. And only the third married the king.

Two sisters survived the disappointment. And who is to blame? Evil rock? Only them.

To make the right choice, you need to know what we want in life

Understanding what you want will help you: the necessary requirements, needs, desires, goals, worldview.

Necessary Requirements

Necessary requirements are the basis for our relationship. Each of us needs certain conditions that make relationships viable. If at least one of them is absent, then the relationship with the greatest probability will eventually disintegrate, no matter how we try to compromise.

  • Signs of the necessary requirements in the relationship:
  • - cannot be replaced by compromises, relations will end in a break if at least one is not fulfilled,
  • - they are subjective, consistent with your worldview, are formed from past experience,
  • - they are clearly and strongly felt by us, we have no doubt that this is a necessary condition for us,
  • - Without them, relationships cannot be viable and will bring disappointment.

You can make a long list of your queries, but even if you find someone who matches all the points, there is no guarantee that you have found a suitable life partner until you determine your necessary requirements. For example, this may be the absence of dependencies, family orientation, physical compatibility, a general point of view on raising children, a general point of view on a healthy lifestyle, and so on.

It happens that when making a choice, we follow the line of “chemistry”, not paying attention to the apparent discrepancies in outlook on life. Knowing our necessary requirements helps us find a balance between mind and heart, and make the right choice.

Purpose of life, worldview, needs, desires

If you imagine that a relationship is a pie, then the necessary requirements are flour, sugar and eggs. If at least one ingredient is missing, it will no longer be a pie, but something else.

The purpose of life

But we still need to know why we are preparing this cake. For a choice, it is also important to consider our purpose in life. An example of the purpose of life: parenting, social activity. If the relationship does not contribute to our goal, we will feel empty and unsatisfied.


Before forming our pie, we need to know how it will look - this is our worldview or idea of ​​what should result in the end. Worldview is our internal navigation system that leads us to certain choices and decisions. We feel contented and happy when our path is in line with our worldview.


We all have different needs. Our ability to understand our needs determines how happy and successful we are. If the relationship is pie, then baking utensils, oven, stove, baking time, temperature are the same as the needs for the relationship.

The difference between needs and necessary requirements is that we can modify, replace, change, discuss and find compromises. So, for example, you can bake a cake at a temperature of 300 degrees in 30 minutes or at 370 degrees in 25 minutes, and the cake will still work. But if we don’t have flour, then we won’t have a pie either.

If our relationship needs are not satisfied, problems begin, we are stressed. An example of needs: the need for cleanliness and order, careful budget management, rational distribution of time, for example, so that a partner warns, if he is late at work, the need for tenderness, for communication.

Relationship needs look like events or conditions that must be met in order for us to feel happy. Mismatch of needs, requires joint efforts to solve problems, can be resolved through understanding and compromise.

Infantilism: concept and signs


In addition to needs, there are desires. If you go back to our cake, then the desire is raisins, cream or icing, which makes our cake special. Without them, it will be dry and fresh. Desires mean actions or intentions that stimulate us, excite, inspire, bring joy and positive energy into relationships.

For example, it can be a romantic dinner, a walk along the beach, joint exits, surprises, games. Desires often change, they can arise and disappear, they create a certain mood in the relationship.

People who choose a partner, focusing only on desires, without taking into account the necessary requirements, often get short-term relationships as a result.

If we want to make a wise choice for a happy long-term relationship, we need to make a decision based on our worldview, purpose of life and the necessary requirements. And at the same time, be prepared to take into account the needs and desires of our life partner.

How to determine the necessary requirements

Remember the last bad relationship. Highlight 3 three reasons why they did not work out. You can also simply make a list of the desired qualities of a man and the necessary conditions for a relationship. Now check what your list will be your requirements.

  1. Question to determine the necessary requirements:
  2. If you fell in love with an attractive and independent man, and you really want to build a relationship with him, but if _____________ (substitute a request) is not fulfilled, can you then stay in such a relationship?
  3. Examples:
  4. - If I fall in love with an attractive and independent man, and I really want to build a relationship with him, but only he will not take my opinion into account, can I then stay in such a relationship?
  5. - If I fall in love with an attractive and independent man, and I really want to build a relationship with him, but only he will not be frank with me about his income, can I then stay in such a relationship?
  6. - If I fall in love with an attractive and independent man, and I really want to build a relationship with him, but only he will not want children, can I then stay in such a relationship?
  7. If your answer is no, this is your necessary requirement.
  8. If you think that you can still stay in a relationship and try to find a solution to the problem, then most likely this is not your necessary requirement, but a need or desire.

When you determine your necessary requirements, you will receive your criteria for choosing a man for a relationship. Everything that relates to the needs and desires in a relationship, although important, is resolved in the presence of love and understanding.

Good luck and see you soon on the pages of Samprosvetvetbulotte!

Received 3 tips - consultations from psychologists, to the question: How to choose between two women one?

Psychologist Syktyvkar Online: November 5

Answers on the site: 1465 Conducts of trainings: 7 Publications: 119

Konstantin, good day!

In a situation of choice between two Women, one of them will be left without you anyway and this can cause different emotions. Konstantin, it’s not possible to sit on two chairs at the same time - so you are deceiving not only these Women, but also yourself!

When making a decision, be guided by your own desires, leading prospects with one or another Woman, your own feelings and taking care of the feelings of another person, tell your decision.

Konstantin, putting off the decision does not solve your question. And the answer to who to be with is known only to you!

Pershukova Julia Ivanovna, psychologist Syktyvkar

Good answer 1 Bad answer 1

You are now in a situation of choice, and this is always difficult. But, you yourself have created this state of affairs. Rather, you took the path of least resistance, you don’t like relations with your wife — I’ll start new ones, and I won’t try to figure out first what we lack to feel new, how to reanimate relations, etc. At the moment, you must be clearly aware that staying good, for all sides of the triangle that has arisen, will fail. If you leave your wife, you will be a traitor and a traitor for her, and if you part with your mistress, you will be a bad father and an unreliable person. Therefore, it is necessary to decide with whom you want to go further in life, only you should make this choice, here no one can advise you, and should not. Of course, you can leave “everything as it is,” but is it unlikely that such a development of events will satisfy the mother of your unborn child? Therefore:

- if you make a choice in favor of your mistress, you must understand that you will have to survive the loss of a loved one. No matter how you are not satisfied with your wife and your relationship at the moment, anyway she has become a loved one. Get ready for a conversation, explanations, it may take more than one conversation, but a whole series. You can be ashamed, accused, blame yourself, demand and blackmail. All this will have to endure, without aggression, without excuse. Try to take full responsibility for what happened, although both are always to blame for the breakup. Simply, at this moment, leaving a woman will be bad without that. You still have to establish life in a new relationship, because, believe me, meetings, even frequent ones, are very different from family life,

- if you decide to stay with your wife, then now until the end, you will not succeed in parting with your mistress, she will now have a completely different status, she will be the mother of your child. You will have to meet, and how will your childless wife react to this? With this choice, you also need to prepare for the explanations, you will have to experience the loss of your loved one, you can hardly do without depression, depression and other things.

The choice is not easy, but when you decide, then go to the end. It will be difficult, but there will be relief, no need to hide and hide, lead a double life. It is in such situations that feelings are tested for strength. Good luck with your choice!

Furkulitsa Elena Kuzminichna, psychologist Chisinau

Good answer 3 Bad answer 1

Answers on the site: 822 Conducts of trainings: 3 Publications: 0

A difficult situation has formed. And not so much because both women will not be delighted with what is happening. how much due to the fact that trying to find a solution to the problem - how to make your life full of joy, sensuality and desire for sex with your beloved woman, you actually deprive yourself of this.

You are getting a divorce from your wife. Sex is over.

Your new wife is pregnant and for some time the sex will end. And after childbirth - as you already know - the picture will not be the same as before. And here again the need arises.

a need that applies to you, not a woman who (does not attract). You will still need to learn how to maintain your interest in the woman you love. Organize your life together so that the woman next to you is such that she excites, attracts you sexually and causes only one desire - to stay only with her.

Not an easy choice before you. Maybe by applying for in-person consultation in order to more thoroughly and carefully approach the issue.

Lanko Vladimir Vitalievich, psychologist Kharkov

Why does a woman find herself in a situation where she needs to choose between two men?

A regular partner over time notices what is happening and understands that he has a competitor. From understanding this, he, in fear of losing his girlfriend, makes her an offer. But does she need this? Who to choose: a reliable partner with whom they have been connecting for many years, or a new man whose thoughts boil blood? How to choose from two guys one?

A similar situation can happen when a girl is married. Her husband has long perceived her as a cook, housekeeper, mother of her children and a true friend.

On her birthdays, he gives her not expensive underwear, but food processors and yogurt makers. Sex becomes boring and monotonous, in which a woman knows in advance what will happen and why.

And it seems that not everything is so bad, because instead of passion, peace and comfort are gained.

At some point, the woman gets used to this state of things and even feels quite happy. And then she meets a man who turns everything upside down.

With him, she no longer feels like a cook and dishwasher; she feels like a welcome woman. She begins to realize how long she lacked attention and affection.

For the sake of a couple of hours of happiness, she is ready to risk years of family life.

How to choose a guy

Communication with the opposite sex is an integral part of life. For this, it is always important to choose the right partner who will meet all the wishes. But where to find one and how to choose a guy from the possible options? The answer depends on the goals and needs.

You need to decide for yourself that at this stage of life it is most important what role a young man plays in this task, what format of relations would be ideal and what qualities are required from a satellite.

Where do girls pick guys

Among the main ways to get acquainted are:

  • place of work, study,
  • clubs, bars, entertainment centers,
  • events, concerts, hobby meetings,
  • Internet, dating sites.

Fate is unpredictable, you can meet your fiancée anywhere, you need to be prepared for this.

How to choose between two guys

Often a girl has several fans at once and the choice between them is not so obvious. They can relate to different spheres of life, have certain advantages. If you want a long relationship, the girl chooses between the guys, given their relevance to her expectations in the long run. The most important factors are taken into account:

  • willingness to have a serious relationship,
  • personal qualities,
  • level of emotional attachment,
  • relationship to marriage
  • future plans,
  • sexually compatible
  • common interests, hobbies.

But they also choose between guys and without a desire to create a serious relationship with one of them.

In any situation, it is important to choose only one, since it will be difficult to take care of each at the same time and ultimately lead only to disappointment and resentment of young people.

How to choose a guy from two? It is worth taking a break, consider your attitude towards them. Perhaps none at all is a suitable gentleman at the moment.

Online dating

But when communicating on the network, you don’t need to choose too quickly - there are no restrictions, it’s easy enough to keep in touch with several people at once. And if the rapprochement is happening rapidly, and meetings are already being set up, then you can still leave a couple of interesting acquaintances for flirting.

On a dating site, it is only important to decide which guy to choose - then it's a matter of technology. Thanks to special services, it is easy to choose from the profiles presented users of a certain age, from a particular city, find the cutest ones from the photos and write them. Paying attention is on the goal - someone is looking for a wife, and someone just for sex.

Partner Search Features

Sometimes it’s very difficult from the outside to understand why guys choose this or that girl. Definitely, everyone has their own taste and preferences; classical love cannot be ruled out without an explicit motive based on chemistry. But if you think about which girl to choose a guy, then everyone can name a few main requirements, which will differ depending on goals and preferences.

If we talk about how girls choose guys, then the main role here is played by emotions. Often, female intuition helps to choose the right person, but it is still advisable to reflect on the actions of your chosen one and analyze them.

How to like a specific person

Success of the opposite sex primarily depends on the ability to present oneself - with the proper level of this skill, external data, skills, knowledge and character are no longer so important.

Sometimes a correctly chosen line of behavior solves everything - and then even an unremarkable girl has real power over a man.

To learn this, you only need the practice of communication, observation and a little acting.

When you want to win a young man who is rather indifferent, then before you connect heavy artillery, you should think about why this is necessary.

After all, if a person is not initially interested in a relationship, then such a connection will turn out to be one-sided and inferior.

Even with a successful conquest, such couples sooner or later break up and you should not be surprised if this guy chose the former.


When deciding to connect his fate with a young man, you need to look at him so as not to suffer from the wrong choice later. First of all, the real motive is important - whether the guy wants a relationship, only sex or has selfish views.

Even if he sincerely refers to the object of his passion, this does not mean that everything will be fine. Many people are simply incompatible and looking from the outside it is not always clear why the girl chose a guy completely unsuitable for her.

It can be different temperaments, outlooks on life, intellectual and cultural level.

Relationships are very common where one of the partners dominates quite aggressively, actually manages the life of his half, indicates what to do and how to act, prohibits certain things.

In this situation, there can also be normal relations, but only on condition that everyone in the pair wants to fulfill their role. If submission offends and burdensome - it is unhealthy.

If the need to constantly manage is annoying - you should put an end to and look for others.

The dangers

Bad guys attract girls, but it can end badly - physical and moral abuse, psychological trauma, resentment, distrust of men in the future. It is important to pay attention to the wake-up calls at the beginning of the relationship. You need to survive if the young man:

  • hides too much, lies,
  • may disappear indefinitely without explanation,
  • cruelly enough jokes about his girlfriend, humiliates in the presence of friends,
  • shows aggression, restraint,
  • demands, commands, sets prohibitions,
  • hides the girl from friends, protects her from communicating with other people.

If you notice strange behaviors, disrespect or significant differences of opinion - it is better not to start dating and to prevent the consequences, and not to hope that he will change, because this will not happen.

How to choose one man from two?

Every woman can be in a difficult situation. For example, on the one hand - a handsome macho who wears in his arms, but gigolo, on the other - an ordinary guy, a workaholic, there are not enough stars from the sky, but he guarantees stability. In the company of one, she feels herself a real woman, a loved one, in need of care. Next to another - "mommy", strong, attentive, sensitive. Who to be with, whom to choose?

Reasons for difficulty in choosing

It is easier to make a choice at the very beginning of a relationship, when feelings are not strengthened, attachment has not arisen, the absence of joint pastime does not make parting painful.

But sometimes, the prolonged decision-making moment between the two candidates complicates the situation, I want to go with the flow, and wait until everything falls into place somehow by itself. And the reasons for the occurrence of such a situation may be each girl's own:

  • they are both perfect, any woman’s dream,
  • one showers with expensive gifts, solves problems, and with the other it’s just cozy and calm,
  • a feeling of pity does not allow to hurt a person who treats her so well,
  • one is good, but he is much younger (or older), the other is suitable in status, but it’s boring with him,
  • they complement each other, connect them, and you get the image of an ideal man,
  • one speaks of children, a wedding, but she wants to marry the second, who claims that one needs to get on their feet, and only then children, family,
  • she thinks she loves them both
  • she does not love him, but he treats the child well, the second adores her, but the son (daughter) does not accept him.

The list goes on and on. The lack of clear criteria and priorities prevents the girl from making the right choice in favor of one of the candidates. She was constantly surrounded by warmth and care in the family, the attention of fans - why make a choice?

But do not confuse your own egoism with the inability to make a decision. The owner does not think about the need to limit the relationship to one young man. She is quite satisfied with the current situation, when everything is done for her and for her sake. Such women do not want to complicate their lives, to deprive themselves of pleasure.

But perhaps the most difficult choice is between the past and the present. Having finished one relationship, having experienced separation, the girl begins to meet with another hero. Everything is going well, mutual feelings arise, attachment appears. And then he appears, a man from the past who, as before, deep in his soul evokes strong emotions. And she no longer knows, does not understand, with whom should she be, whom to choose?

You can listen to your own intuition, the advice of psychologists, compare horoscopes, talk with your mother, but there is only one result - you have to make a decision yourself.

We choose with our heart, but with a cold head:

  1. We consider the positive aspects of the candidates,
  2. We evaluate the negative qualities of both guys,
  3. Pay attention to our feelings
  4. We evaluate the attitude towards ourselves (towards children).

The hardest part of the process is comparison.

We consider the positive aspects

When evaluating, you should pay attention to those qualities that are in priority. For example, for a girl it is important how a guy looks, but it does not matter if he knows how to cook.

  1. Sense of humor. If a loved one knows how to cheer up, understands the jokes of loved ones, it is worth paying attention to this fact. Optimism and a good mood are necessary qualities in order not to fall into gloom and depression. With such a person it is easy to go through life - he is like an inexhaustible source of energy.
  2. Attitude to others, especially those who need his help. If a young man seeks to help both those who ask and those who are silent, but he understands that they need him, this is a very valuable quality. He will never leave a loved one in trouble.
  3. Goals in life. Own views on life, long-term plans, which include creating a family, children, and not just clubs, bars, discos or work 24 hours a day. In this case, it all depends on the goals of the girl herself, maybe at this stage of her life she is only interested in dancing and free relationships, then a potential family man will not suit her.
  4. Financial well-being. What is especially important here? Maybe not millions in your pocket at the moment, if the young man is still getting an education or is at the beginning of his career path. In this matter, its perspectives, purposefulness, quick wits, and stability are important. And if a rich girl is satisfied with a young gigolo - this is her right.
  5. Attitude to mom. It is not necessary to run to get acquainted with parents in order to look at the relationship of the mother with her son. Whether a child appreciates his loved ones can be understood by accidentally heard a telephone conversation or, for example, when talking with a loved one. If a son respects his mother with respect and cares, he is more likely to respect his wife, the mother of his children.

When assessing, you can pay attention to many other necessary parameters of candidates: appearance, thrift, ability to solve problems, etc.

Evaluate the negative qualities of both guys

There is one wise saying: "There are no ideal people, everyone has their own shortcomings, but it is only up to us to decide what we can put up with and what not." Based on this, it is necessary to highlight the negative sides of the applicants for relations:

  1. Bad habits that annoy. No, over time this will not work, and every year it will get on the nerves more and more.
  2. Jealousy. On the one hand, it is a good quality that proves that a woman is loved. But jealousy, bordering on madness, will not appeal to any beauty. The ban on cosmetics, on short dresses, trips with girlfriends to entertainment events, etc. - Maybe you should stay away from such an owner?
  3. Manipulation towards the woman. Although the man and the head of the family, the total control of all spheres of the girl’s life, without the right to compromise, is a heavy burden, not everyone can do it.
  4. Is he able to admit his wrong? Men are a strong gender, and for some to admit their mistake means to show their weakness. And which girl would always want to be guilty of everything, even without reason?
  5. Memories of past love. If a man speaks ill of his ex-girlfriend, perhaps the same fate awaits the current passion.

Pay attention to your feelings

  1. Whose call (message) causes a feeling of joy, and not indifference?
  2. Which of the guys is easy with, can you be yourself and no need to pretend?
  3. What sensations cause touch?
  4. Whose presence nearby causes a state of "want to live" or "wings behind"?
  5. Which one of them wants to become even better, to develop?
  6. When parting about who thought more often? Without whom is breathing hard?

We evaluate the attitude towards ourselves

  1. When making a difficult decision, it is important not only to understand your feelings, but also to analyze the guys' attitude to themselves. Every woman needs to be loved and desired.
  2. How deep is everyone’s feelings? One sees a woman in a woman, the mother of her children, and the other is interested in physical intimacy.

If the last option suits, and she is in no hurry to start a family, then this situation is more than acceptable. What are they willing to sacrifice for their beloved? One will bring medicine in the middle of the night, and the other will not pick up after school, because he has a meeting with friends.

  • How will they accept the offer of separation? Will they calmly leave or fight for the right to be around?
  • They accept a girl as she is or try to change, re-educate? True feelings are when they love you simply for what you are, regardless of hair color, harmony, growth, etc.

  • Who spends more time nearby, seeks to spend every free minute in the company of his beloved?
  • Do they allow themselves to flirt with other girls?
  • How do you feel about children? And it is especially important to the chosen one's children, if they already are.
  • Having assessed the answers for each of the applicants, it is easy to understand that the choice is more likely to be made in favor of the one who really sincerely treats the girl and values ​​the relationship.

    Useful Tips

    When making a decision, it is worth focusing on the following points:

    1. Set priorities. Based on what is more important.
    2. Cut off habits that annoy a person, as this is unlikely to be reconciled.
    3. Listen to the feelings - to whom you are attracted, about whom all thoughts are (it may be that you don’t communicate with both for some time to understand).
    4. Do not forget about physical attraction. With a man whose touch causes hostility, nothing will come of it.
    5. Do not ignore the attitude towards others (including close relatives, friends, etc.).
    6. Ask the main question: “Which of them do you see your future with?”

    Which man to choose (video)

    In this video you will learn what qualities to look for when choosing a partner.

    The cause of the ambiguous situation is uncertainty. Uncertainty in their priorities, uncertainty in the feelings of guys, uncertainty in their emotions. To cut this knot, you need to put everything in its place, to understand what is important at the moment of life. If it is equally good with both partners, the choice is best made in favor of the one with whom it is more common, with whom the direction of goals and prospects coincides. If you have to choose based on negative qualities, cross out what annoys you more and makes it difficult to be together. Listen to your heart, but think with your head.

    Psychologist's advice: how to choose between two guys

    Love with boyfriend

    When two gentlemen are not inferior to each other in the best masculine qualities and equally show their love, women are lost before a choice. They worry that they will make a mistake or push both candidates away. If a girl cannot choose one of two guys, she is not confident in her feelings or in her gentlemen.

    The choice is complicated when it is not lost, if it sees that one has the necessary features, and the other shows more attention. Or, on the one hand, material values ​​lie, and on the other, emotional attachment, which equally hinders making the right decision.

    At the beginning of a relationship, it’s easier to make the right choice. The girl trusts her feelings and chooses the guy that she likes best. She is honest with herself and other people. He does not understand why create a situation in which you have to make a choice and deceive two wonderful men.

    But it also happens that the character and manners of the guys are similar, being in the society of each of them, she can not divide them into two different personalities. Time pulls, in the hope that it will put everything in its place and just go with the flow. It is difficult for her to make a choice if:

    • both guys are great
    • treat her equally well
    • one makes expensive gifts, and the other gives peace of mind and confidence,
    • the first guy combines some qualities, and the second - the other, both make up the perfect image,
    • flattering the attention of two good guys at once.

    Dreams and the lack of strict criteria for the selection of the applicant leads to such a situation. The girl does not have clear preferences, it is difficult for her to make a choice in life. She grew up in love and care, it is normal for her to feel surrounded by more than one fan.

    Perhaps she is selfish and does not care about other people's feelings. It doesn’t matter to her that she will hurt when young people find out that she meets two at once. The girl is confident and not afraid to be alone, as she knows that someone else will surely fall in love with her.

    There is a situation when a girl broke up with a guy, and she was immediately invited to meet another who has long liked her. A new relationship began, and old love suddenly reminded of itself. The former, the love of which has not yet passed, offers to start all over again, and the real guy has already become an important part of her life.

    The best test will be your own feelings alone with yourself. You need to understand why being with one, begins to pull towards the other and for whom the girl misses more. If this does not help, you should resort to a science such as the psychology of relationships and sort out the problem "on the shelves." Sooner or later, one will have to make a choice.

    Psychologist's adviceAnalysis
    Explore compatibilityIt is important for cohabitation and long-term relationships. This is one of the main factors in choosing a life partner. The choice should be made based on the level of comfort. Mark sincere and honest, to which there is more trust. In whose society a woman feels more comfortable, calmer and more confident
    Build on common interestsIt is necessary to think with which of them she has more common interests. It is possible to believe that opposites attract, but the presence of common interests and the same outlook on life rally much more
    Make a choice based on the personal qualities of menTo choose between the guys the best and most suitable, you need to make a list and add all the good and bad qualities of the guys to it.Think about which girl she’s never going to put up with and what she likes the most in each of them.
    Listen to intuition and your heartIn matters of love one should listen to one's heart. His frequent rhythm next to each of them will tell you who is loved and to whom the girl feels the usual sympathy. The body will not succeed in deceiving and an increased pulse will help to make the right choice.
    Which of them values ​​the girl moreWho sees a shared future and cannot imagine life without it. This does not mean that he cannot exist without his beloved, but will tell about his serious intentions and love for her
    Think about the futureTry to see yourself in a few years. Introduce your soul mate next to you. Who is more suitable for her criteria and who wants to see the father of their children is worth choosing as partners in life
    Think about physical intimacyThis is an important criterion when choosing a long-term relationship. Two guys cannot be the same in bed. Sexual compatibility psychologists play an important role. Physical intimacy holds people together, reconciles and makes their life together brighter

    By writing down her feelings on paper or making notes in an e-book, it will be easier for a woman to make a choice regarding one of them. You should make sure that the guy doesn’t get a record and doesn’t think that the girl is with him not because she loves, but from the calculation of the best option.

    If you still can’t stop choosing one or the other, you need to look for a third with whom there will be no doubt. Who will give harmony, confidence and calm. With whom the heart will beat harder.

    A good way to check is to try to get sick and see who is more worried, better taken care and not afraid to get infected. In a joint life, this is important, since all people are sick and no one can avoid this. At the same time, the girl will think about who she will be happy to care for and who will not annoy her with a squelch of her nose and a loud cough.

    In a situation in which a woman faces a choice between two men, there is no clear concept of what she expects from a relationship. She should make a list of qualities that appeal to her and those that she will never accept. To think about whom she wants to see next day and if they have a common future.

    If there is a choice between an ex-boyfriend or husband, and the present, then the decision must be approached very thoroughly.

    All the bad things that happened between the couple and what upset the man faded over time, and his assurances that he had changed may turn out to be false.

    To return the old and the native seems to be right, so a woman who is not yet accustomed to a new man often makes the wrong choice, clinging to the past.

    After some time, she regrets that she succumbed to persuasion and lost a man who was ready to make her happy. But her fear of the future deprived her of a chance for a more harmonious relationship.

    Psychologists advise building relationships, taking into account such factors:

    1. 1. No one guarantees that a harmonious relationship will develop with the chosen man and he will make the woman happy.
    2. 2. A decision should be made as soon as possible, otherwise the dual situation will come out and the girl will lose both guys. Long deliberation does not guarantee a better result. A woman receives only the time spent and the fear that the truth will be revealed and the applicants will leave her.
    3. 3. Do not be upset immediately if problems and misunderstandings arise in the relationship. We must build them on the basis of our own desires, not listen to advice and listen to our intuition.

    The psychology of relations believes that if a second man appeared in life and a woman cannot make a choice, it means that there was no deep feeling for the first and that the second should be chosen.

    6 simple secrets how to choose one from two men?

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    Watch the video: How to Choose Between Two Girls (March 2020).

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